What to Expect in Psychotherapy: Alleviating the Uncertainty of Therapy and Tips For How to Get the Most From It

Starting therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown. It can be both nerve-wracking and exciting. Whether you’re considering therapy for the first time, returning after a break or changing therapists, it’s normal to have questions and feel apprehensive. This post will explore what to expect in psychotherapy and provide some tips on how to get the most from your experience.

What to Expect in Psychotherapy

• A Safe and Supportive Space

  Therapy is a place where you can bring your thoughts, emotions, and struggles without fear of judgment. A good therapist provides a warm and non-judgmental environment where you can explore your concerns openly and be your genuine self.

  
  

• The First Sessions: Getting to Know Each Other

  Your initial sessions will likely focus on building rapport and understanding your reasons for seeking therapy. The therapist may ask about your history, relationships, current challenges, and goals. This is also a time for you to get a sense of the therapist’s style and approach.

  
  

• Emotional Processing and Growth

  Over time, therapy will involve exploring emotions, patterns of thinking, and behaviours that may be holding you back. Depending on the therapeutic approach, you may work on processing past experiences, increasing self-awareness and self-compassion, developing coping skills, or reframing negative thoughts.

  
  

• Difficult Feelings

  Sometimes therapy can stir up challenging emotions. This is a normal part of the process. However, we want to avoid things feeling overwhelming. Take things slow and go at your own pace. Let your therapist know how you're feeling so they can support you.

  
  

• A Collaborative Process

  Therapy is not about a therapist giving advice or telling you what to do—it’s a partnership. You are the expert in your own life, and a therapist supports you in discovering what works best for you. If something doesn't feel right, it's okay to speak up - in fact, it's encouraged!

• Ups and Downs

  Therapy is not always linear. There may be moments of insight and relief, as well as times when sessions feel challenging or bring up difficult emotions. This is a normal part of the healing process.

  
  

• Progress happens at Different Rates for Different People

  Growth takes time, and change often happens gradually rather than in a single breakthrough moment.

  
  

Common Things I've Heard From Clients

• "Am I answering the question correctly?"

  It’s common to feel unsure about your responses during therapy. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. What matters most is that you explore your thoughts and feelings in a way that feels authentic. Trust your instincts, and share what comes to mind, even if it doesn't feel completely thought through or you haven't made sense of it yet. Your therapist is there to support you.

• "Am I being a good client?"

  Many people wonder if they are engaging enough or following the flow of the session. It's common to want to feel like we're getting things right, and the desire to please can creep up even in therapy. Stay present, and share authentically. Therapists want to get to know your unique experiences and want you to be authentically you.

  
  

• "What if I don’t know what to say?"

  It’s common to feel stuck or unsure about what to discuss during a session. You’re not alone in this! Therapy is a space for exploration, and sometimes just being present is a valuable step. If you find yourself at a loss for words, you and your therapist can explore what you’re feeling in that moment. Remember, there’s no pressure to have everything figured out.

What You Can Do to Get the Most from Therapy

• Be open and honest

  Therapy is most effective when you’re willing to share your thoughts and feelings. It is normal to feel apprehensive about sharing personal details. Sometimes it can be difficult to express yourself, especially if you're sharing things you’ve never shared or had the chance to process before. Let your therapist know what you’re experiencing so they can support you through the process.

  
  

• Engage in the process

  Reflection and practice outside of sessions can help deepen understanding and facilitate change. A lot of growth can occur between sessions. This is an opportunity to reflect on any new insight and synthesize the things you’ve been talking about. Take notice of what you’re experiencing between sessions and discuss it with your therapist.

  
  

• Be patient

  Healing and growth are not linear. It’s okay to experience ups and downs along the way. It is also normal to feel impatient and want to see results right away. Remember: You're human, and change takes time. You may also feel unsure of how your therapy sessions are benefiting you. It is normal to feel uncertain. You may not "feel" different or notice changes right away, but that does not mean that you are not making progress. If you are feeling unsure about your progress, let your therapist know.

  
  

• Find the therapist that is the best fit for you

  Finding the right therapist is a personal and important step in your healing journey. Therapy works best when you feel safe, comfortable, and understood. You may not connect with every therapist and that's okay. An initial consultation is a good way to determine if a therapist is the right fit for you. This is an opportunity for you to get a feel for the therapist’s style and approach and ask questions. Ultimately, trust your intuition. If you feel a sense of connection, ease, and the belief that the therapist understands your needs and concerns, that’s a good sign you’re on the right path.

  
  

Final Thoughts

Starting therapy is a courageous step toward self-discovery and healing. It is completely normal to feel apprehensive at first. Knowing what to expect can help alleviate some of the uncertainty. My recommendation to people starting therapy is to remain open to the process, share openly and authentically, and be patient.

If you have questions about psychotherapy check out the Frequently Asked Questions section of the website or Contact Me for a free consultation.